STARs
“Thank you, at long last someone is thinking of the siblings.”
It’s tough being an SEN sibling, as well as the usual challenges of growing up, they also often receive less attention from parents and have more worries and responsibilities than their peers.
There’s a big gap in provision for siblings, which is why we launched STARs - to help these Supportive, Thoughtful, And Resilient children and young people. Thanks to a generous grant from Children in Need, we have researched approaches and trained our staff to support those who need us.
STARs is a term time programme for children aged 6 to 16. We meet on a Thursday evening 4:30-6:30pm. We are helping reduce the pressure they’re under by providing an environment where they can access support and advice, but also take part in fun activities, make friends, and be themselves.
It’s important we provide opportunities to help them realise they are not alone, hopefully giving them a support network which will last far longer than however long they wish to attend our sessions, because being a sibling never ends.
If you are interested in registering your young person for our STARs service, please email us at chaos-stars@diverseabilities.org.uk
Clare’s Story
As well as leading this project, I myself am a sibling - my big (but little) sister has a rare genetic condition called Smith-Magenis Syndrome, a developmental condition affecting many parts of the body. It was tough growing up, I took on the big sister role, I felt like my mum and dad didn’t have time for me, their caring role was taken up by devoting their time to her. I had a really warped view on the world and my family life. It wasn’t until I was a teenager that a social worker spent time with me exploring my feelings and made me realise, I wasn’t alone.
Later in life I helped start a sibling group and I found it therapeutic to be able to share my lived experience and it was then that I was able to reflect on how my poor mother really did have it tough and actually she had done a pretty good job at making sure life was fair for both my sister and I.
It is important to provide the opportunity and enable young people to realise they are not alone, bringing them together to create their own support group that will hopefully give them a support network which will last far longer than the time they spend with us. Most importantly, we can give them time - a lot of these young people will not experience many adults in their life that can give them time; time to be a child, time to learn important skills such as baking, time to craft, make a mess, and have fun, time to be heard, to listen and to care. My hope is that we can be that person.
Click here to read Clare’s article about the importance of supporting siblings in SEN Magazine.
Clare and her sister - everyone loves a silly selfie!
Matilda’s Story
Matilda was anxious when first joining STARs, unsure of what to expect, but we took her off on her own for the first 10 minutes of each group so she could relax slightly before joining in.
During one chat, we explained that it was great to have her as part of the group and important for her to attend, even it it was difficult. She replied: “I will keep coming because I like it here, it’s my time to be listened to.”
Slowly over time Matilda has integrated herself into the group and joins in with more group discussions – and this was evident on our trip to Chessington. After bouncing off of the pirate ship she said: “That is the craziest thing I have done in like 5 years! I don’t get to do things like this with my family as my sisters wouldn’t cope.” The joy you could see in her body language and the smile on her face was wonderful to witness.
Matilda and her mum provided feedback after their sessions had come to an end, and are a testament to how important it is to the young people who attend.
“I am really relieved that there was finally a special place for siblings, I have been looking for years. Life-changing for Matilda. She had a lovely bond with some of the adults and the support she needed was there for her. School commented that Matilda would practically bounce into school the morning after her STARs session. For the first time, Matilda had something special to be part of, where her thoughts and feelings where recognised and supported.”
Matilda describes STARs as safe, fun, and friendly.
Register today
Please fill in the form below and one of the team will be in touch to discuss your needs. Alternatively, click here to read our short STARs brochure for parents, or click here to download our brochure aimed at the children and young people who are attending STARs.
Please note: this care plan will be valid for one year from the date of completion, without an in-date care plan children cannot attend sessions. It is your responsibility to inform staff of any changes within the year.